Michael, Dwight, Jim, Pam, Andy
Use the episode files below to drill into a specific meeting, party, cold open or disaster.
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7,483 quote snippets across 23 episodes and 116 speakers.
Use the episode files below to drill into a specific meeting, party, cold open or disaster.
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173 quotes, 19 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"Jim's nice enough. I dont... I don't know how well he's fitting in here. He's always looking at the camera like this. [makes classic 'Jim'-camera face] What is that?"Open episode
335 quotes, 23 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"In the Martin family, we like to say, 'Looks like someone took the slow train from Philly.' That's code for 'check out the slut.' What is... why are there flies in here?"Open episode
291 quotes, 16 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"Yeah I think we can be a big help to your company. [someone dims the lights, signifying that it's game time] Ok, see you next week. Bye. [to Karen] Again?"Open episode
313 quotes, 21 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"You really don't get it, do you? You don't understand these people. That is the last thing that they would want is a day off."Open episode
312 quotes, 18 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"Wow. Well. Ok. I don't care how your day was either, Jan. I was just asking you because you asked me. Why do you set me up like that?"Open episode
279 quotes, 30 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"And another thing about the Indian people... they love sex positions. I present to you the Kama Sutra. I mean look at that. Who's seen that before?"Open episode
260 quotes, 19 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"Oh... [burrys head in hands] Oh, my god. Oh, my god! I don't really get it 'cause we're not doing that bad and our numbers are gonna come up."Open episode
584 quotes, 24 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"[to office worker] That's the other thing you got to watch out... [to Jim] Yo! Tuna! I wanna talk to you about this new boss, Michael Scott."Open episode
191 quotes, 17 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"Why did the convict have to be a black guy? It is such a stereotype. I just wish that Josh had made a more progressive choice. Like a white guy... who went to prison for... polluting a black guy's lake."Open episode
547 quotes, 30 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"Relax, OK. And because this is Christmas, I am going to roast this goose and prepare it with a wild rice dressing. Do we have any cayenne pepper in the kitchen?"Open episode
323 quotes, 21 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"All right, let's get started. Umm... Oh, first off, we're supposed to be pushing cardstock this week. So... let's push cardstock this week. Uh, also... [to Dwight] what is this?"Open episode
264 quotes, 20 speakers, 35 deleted lines.
"Five of us transferred from Stamford. There are two of us left. Me and Karen. It's like we are touring Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory and dropping off one by one. Well, guess what? I am not falling in a chocolate river."Open episode
207 quotes, 19 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"Yeah. And you know what? Ask them about the toys on my desk too. They always used to arrange them in a very pleasing way. It used to brighten my morning."Open episode
257 quotes, 17 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"Okay everybody, slight change of plans, we are still going to be having two parties but each is going to get a little extra dose of naught-ay. Uh! [Spanks himself]"Open episode
180 quotes, 21 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"You're probably worried about pleasing Bob. A lot of pressure. Phyllis, did you break wind? It's okay, if you did. It's a very natural reaction. It's your wedding. And you're nervous..."Open episode
255 quotes, 26 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"I'm really happy to be back with Roy. I think it shows maturity. Maturity and dignity.... Is that braggy? I don't mean it to be braggy."Open episode
340 quotes, 28 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"MAGIC MAGIC Magic Magic magic magic... And now, Michael the Magic, will attempt to escape from extreme bondage. [Kevin giggles] Can he do it? I don't see how he can."Open episode
356 quotes, 19 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"There were these huge bins of clothes, and everybody was rifling through them like crazy, and I grabbed one. And it fit! So I don't think that this is totally just a woman's suit. At the very least it's bisexual."Open episode
386 quotes, 23 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"Ok, you know what? You're making it sound kind of lame. So, skip ahead to the really dangerous stuff. Like sometimes computers can explode, can they not?"Open episode
398 quotes, 21 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"You know what? Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, so I thank you. [Jim places a bobble-head on his desk] Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!"Open episode
323 quotes, 18 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"Oh, OK. Masters of comedy. A guy dropped his pants. Have you ever been to the circus? [everyone glares] OK. [Michael puts his finger through his pant's zipper] He's back! [laughs] OK. Hmm. [babbling with his coat pulled closed] Waagh! [flashes everyone]"Open episode
365 quotes, 20 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"Oh, you sigh like Jan. I broke Jan's heart, David, and it was awful. It was... It was never my intention to ruin a life. But you know what? Sometimes..."Open episode
544 quotes, 20 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"No, um, well I was thinking that uh, actually we could all leave tomorrow and do a convoy you know? Convoys are really fun. Pull up next to each other, give each other the finger..."Open episode