Andy, Dwight, Jim, Pam, Erin
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Season archive
Season 8
7,083 quote snippets across 24 episodes and 136 speakers.
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Episode files
All episodes in season 8
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Season 8, Episode 1
274 quotes, 22 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"[motions he is on the phone] Can I call you right back? Thank you very much. [comes over] Okay. [sees notebook with two lists of staff names] What is this?"Open episode
Season 8, Episode 2
320 quotes, 20 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"Me mechanic not speak English. But he know what me mean when me say 'car no go..., and we best friends. So me think: why waste time, say lot word when few word do trick?"Open episode
Season 8, Episode 3
317 quotes, 22 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"OK, you know what? I'm gonna give him something to drink. Come here, doggy. [Whistling and pouring water from bottle into sunroof of car] Come on."Open episode
Season 8, Episode 4
267 quotes, 25 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"What better way to announce our new slightly lower prices than with an ad campaign? And what better face for an ad campaign than our new regional manager?"Open episode
Season 8, Episode 5
291 quotes, 20 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"Everybody looking good, this is, this is the best we can do? I'm not judging, I, I think you guys look great, I just... wanna make sure this is the best we can do?"Open episode
Season 8, Episode 6
324 quotes, 20 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"When I come back next week and this report shows me no mistakes, we can talk about names, all day. Our favorite names, silly made up names, normal names said in a silly voice. Wouldn't that be nice?"Open episode
Season 8, Episode 7
321 quotes, 25 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"I'm training a temp to be my replacement while I'm on maternity leave. Oh I should've mentioned I'm pregnant. You probably didn't notice because it's impossible to tell I'm so small. But yeah I'm pregnant. [another squeak] Oh come on!"Open episode
Season 8, Episode 8
282 quotes, 25 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"Oh, is it okay with you? Because if it's not, you work for me, so... Comply with all applicable laws, regulations, policies and contracts governing our business. Be honest, fair-"Open episode
Season 8, Episode 9
299 quotes, 22 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"Standing is proven to be healthier, increases productivity and just looks cooler. Picture someone doing something heroic. Now was he sitting or standing? Not counting FDR."Open episode
Season 8, Episode 10
352 quotes, 20 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"[Singing as if he were the dolls in his office] Christmas tiiiime is heeeere! [Normal voice] Wow. Thanks guys, that sounded amazing. Hi, I'm Andy Bernard and I am the first office Santa ever to make holiday wishes come true."Open episode
Season 8, Episode 11
269 quotes, 28 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"[gasps] Shh! Did you hear that? Infinity! There is an infinity of things that you can do with paper! Now, who wants to buy some paper? [scattered applause]"Open episode
Season 8, Episode 12
316 quotes, 22 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"I'm not going to help you. Why would you choose me? Because I'm mighty? Because I'm the manliest man in the office? I'll do it. [he picks her up]"Open episode
Season 8, Episode 13
372 quotes, 26 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"[whispering] Guys, I don't know how many of you have seen- Gabe? Bring it in. I don't know how many of you have seen a premature baby before. It's going to be really tiny, so please don't say anything offensive."Open episode
Season 8, Episode 14
290 quotes, 22 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"Pam! Ahh! Look what I can do now that she's no longer pregnant. [pretends to punch Pam in the stomach] Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!"Open episode
Season 8, Episode 15
245 quotes, 22 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"Hey, you. I'm so glad this is happening. I actually came to your door twice last night. Come on in, the water's fine. [sees Dwight] Oh, not cool!"Open episode
Season 8, Episode 16
339 quotes, 22 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"Hey, you guys want to see a picture of Gerald wearing galoshes? He refused to go out in the rain until I bought these. Now going out in the rain is all he wants to do."Open episode
Season 8, Episode 17
259 quotes, 30 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"I want to create a sense of wonder and enthusiasm as if, at the end of E.T., candy poured out of the screen. Do you understand? I wanna get goose pimples."Open episode
Season 8, Episode 18
264 quotes, 24 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"How could I have been more clear? He had a massive stroke [slight pause] of good fortune and he is now in a better place."Open episode
Season 8, Episode 19
261 quotes, 23 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"[telephone ringing] This is Pam. Oh my God, are you sure? Uh, okay. Okay, um, we'll be right there. Everybody, the balloon is falling."Open episode
Season 8, Episode 20
307 quotes, 27 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"Nine minutes. Bzz! Off it goes again. Whack! Seven more times I did that. Bzz, whack. Bzz, whack! By the time I got up, it was ten minutes ago. No willpower. That is my curse!"Open episode
Season 8, Episode 21
292 quotes, 25 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"Whoa. No. Are you kidding? You were so sexy. Just the thought of you last night, like, crazy turns me on. It just didn't last night."Open episode
Season 8, Episode 22
239 quotes, 21 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"Ugh, I hate ties! I feel like I'm being strangled like I'm at some erotic asphyxiation sex club over on I-84. The red room say? Or Dominick's?"Open episode
Season 8, Episode 23
288 quotes, 21 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"Protein powder, huh? You cut it with water? Why don't you just take estrogen? [swallows powder] [coughs] There you go boys. See how papa takes care of you? [kisses bicep] Mwah."Open episode
Season 8, Episode 24
295 quotes, 30 speakers, 0 deleted lines.
"I wanted to give a nice gift to the tenants in the building. At first I thought, 'muffin basket.' Then I thought, 'What's even more precious to people than muffins?'"Open episode